Things we learnt from India

After a thoroughly eye-opening trip to India, here are the top things we have taken away from our time there:

Fez from that 70s show is a fashion icon

All that is needed for a wedding is a 10 year old groom riding a horse and lots of fairy lights

Cows are like chuck Norris... they fear no one

Who needs blinkers when you have a horn?

We will walk another 10 minutes rather than get ripped off 30p on a rickshaw

Noah's stomach is stronger than Shling's

Prescriptions drugs are the only way to get through a 15 hour overnight bus ride, luckily, you can walk into any pharmacy in the country and get whatever you want, except sleeping pills for some reason.

We will carry an empty water bottle for 2 hours searching for a garbage rather than littering, though we accept we are the minority in that respect

A bed is defined as any surface that fits at least a 1/3 of your body whether the side of the road, a wooden cart, a bicycle or the hood of your car

Street food vendors are licensed to sell delicious chicken tikka while sporting a shotgun in a hip holster

Because of preservation issues in the Indian production of Kingfisher beers, they contain glycerin which will without fail give you a wicked hangover

And most importantly of all: NEVER trust anyone that calls you 'My friend....'